Friday, May 15, 2009

Why Bother? A Rant Against Stupidity.

I have nothing against a few typos or spelling errors. They happen. But when you type something up really fast and don't even bother to go back and put in spaces, that's annoying. Also, if I can't understand what you are trying to say, you must be really bad off, because I'm good at filling in the blanks.

I received this message on a dating website today:

I really like your profil... take take the age thing as if i cant keep up...im the man!email me if you like my profile!

I promise that is copy and pasted.

It is beside the point that he is a divorcé and has a young child (no thank you). He was done before I went clicked over to his profile.

A message like this means one of two things. Either he is typing really fast, so maybe he's writing to every girl between the ages of 18-40 with most of their teeth or he's retarded.

The lazy lover is no good because he's not really looking for anything. He's just seeing what he can get. The retard speaks for itself.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Using People

To a certain extent, I suppose I use everyone around me. But usually it's not with purpose and I feel like I give back a lot, as well. But sometimes an opportunity to use someone in the real sense of the word comes along.

There's always the classic get a drink for free. A boy wants to buy you one, and you think he's the most hidious thing you've ever seen. So you tell him that your friend needs a shot, too. You stand near him at the bar to make sure he doesn't roofie your drink, down the shot and then disappear in the crowd, hoping he forgets about you.

Then there are those long-term deals, where you're faced with the choice of dating a man just because of what he can give you. Maybe it's money, maybe it's a place to crash. This time it's free car work.

I like to play the tough guy and the idea of being a user really appeals to that part of me. But sometimes you've got to look inside yourself and decide if that's the part you want to play. I like to pretend to be bad, but actually dating someone just to get a free head gasket seems a little beyond me.

Friday, April 24, 2009

I Heart Boys

I adore men.  I can't get enough of them.  I collect them like I collect shoes.  Unfortunately, that means they tend to be as comfortable as my shoes, as well.  I have a bad habit of seeing a pair of shoes that looks cute and just buying without really considering if I need another pair of black heels or if they'll pinch my toes.  With boys, I think they look okay on the outside and I haven't been on a date in two weeks, so I figure I'll go for it.  

Next thing you know, I'm on my third first date of the month and staring at a kinda cute mechanic's bad teeth.  

I guess you'd call me picky, but if I can't find an intelligent man to date, why not only date the good-looking ones?  

I'm not addicted to love.  Love I can take or leave.  What I'm really looking for is the next fix of a perfect (or perfectly acceptable) kiss.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Single, White Female

I find the idea of internet dating exciting.  I mean, it's kind of like shopping on ebay.  You can look at lots of pictures, narrow your search down to your shoe-size and budget and get a great deal a pair of slightly used Jimmy Choo's.  And the problems are similar, too.  When shoe shopping on ebay, you start seeing the same pairs of man-made material shoes for $40 + shipping and you just wish you could skip the garbage and find the gems.

While pursuing the available men on various dating websites, you see a lot of themes reappear.  None of them want women that "play games."  I'm not even sure what that means.  I guess they don't like it when a woman goes on a couple of dates before she decides he's a moron, instead of deciding once she hears his first stupid joke.  

Also, they are all shy until you get to know them.  I get it, you have trouble meeting women out in public.  I have trouble finding non-disgusting men that don't try to stick their tongue down my throat after they buy me a drink, but you don't see me trying to explain-away my issues.

I think my favorite are the 40+ year olds with crap jobs that are all, "You're cute.  I wanna get to know you better."  Um, thanks.  I wanna get to know you better, too?  Age and loserhood aside, how are you supposed to respond to "I want to get to know you"?  My profiles are full are fun stuff that would work as conversation starters.  I try to make it easy for them, and instead I'm supposed to lay out my life story on a "I want to get to know you"?  Plus, why would I want some old man?  Who is fat, paying child support and making $30,000 a year.  I wouldn't and it goes to show how clueless these men are.  Or at least that they are spreading their nets very widely.  I prefer to be more selective and focus a gem or two that I locate.  

Unfortunately, if you find a gem, he lives in Virginia.